On Not Floundering When Life Gets Hard
By Jessica Brodie
Sometimes life is described like deep ocean waves—a never-ending, up-and-down rhythm that heaves with magnificent force. Or it’s like a vast mountainous landscape, hills and valleys, highs and lows, one after the other.
The gist with these analogies is that, like the uncontrollable ocean or the wild, rugged terrain, life has its extremes, and no one is immune from this. Sometimes, life is really great. It feels like God‘s hand is upon you, fully wrapping you in all the blessings life can bring. It’s a good season in your life. Maybe your basic needs are met, you have strong and healthy relationships with others, and you’re doing work that makes a difference not only in the world, but for the glory of God‘s kingdom. It’s a great place to be.
Other times life is, well, not so great. Maybe you’re going through a health crisis, or your job situation is shaky. Maybe your finances are crumbling or there’s a relationship that has become toxic or dissolved completely. Maybe your spouse or child has died, war is right outside your door, or someone important to you is no longer in your life. You’re suffering, and there’s no end-date to your misery.
Right now, I’ve been walking through a valley. My car has broken down, there’s no easy fix, it’s making finances tight, and we have no recourse other than expensive legal action (not an option). My husband has shifted jobs, and all of our kids are now in high school, which is making things extra-challenging between teenage hormone fluctuations and part-time jobs. As well, it seems like we’re on a cycle of continuous home repairs. Our washing machine and refrigerator need replacing, there’s a widening hole in our deck, and we spent the first six months of the year living in our guest bedroom because our pipes froze on Christmas afternoon and flooded our master bedroom. My very young niece is battling cancer, as is another loved one, and my daughter, while doing far better in her mental health, still struggles with debilitating anxiety that makes everyday life a challenge.
I’ve always been a “put it in perspective” kind of person, and I know things could be far worse. We are blessed to have a home, to have jobs, to have vehicles, and to live in a free society where we can practice our faith without persecution. I am blessed to have a family and a husband I love. But other days, it wears on me. I’ve prayed many times for God to solve some of these problems—to heal my niece, to help us figure out a solution to our car fiasco, to ease some of the home issues plaguing us. But for whatever reason, it’s not happening. God is not answering my prayers exactly the way I want him to.
Some days frustration builds. Why isn’t God taking these situations away?
When life is hard, we do that sometimes, don’t we? We look to God and wonder why he’s not helping us. Haven’t we’ve been faithful? Why won’t he make things work in this way or that way so they are easier? Is God punishing us? It’s a dangerous and negative spiral, and when we go too far down, it’s hard to find our way out.
But there’s a beautiful, God-centered peace in the middle of difficulty. To understand this, we need to understand some important truths about faith.
1) First, we have to work on our trust.
In my case, God knows about my situation—and cares. But God handles all things in the way God knows is best. And as a Christian who follows God and wants to walk in God’s ways, I need to trust that whatever is best for God is also best for me. There might be a lesson in my difficult situation, or a blessing, or a gift that I don’t yet see. Or it might be a necessary experience I must endure to get to the next chapter in my life. Whatever the case, I need to trust in God’s plan. It’s OK to get frustrated, but it doesn’t help anything when I do.
Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (NIV).
2) Second, we matter to God.
it can be tempting to be anxious and angsty when things are hard. It can be tempting to feel forgotten. But I am not forgotten. I am beloved. We all are. It doesn’t mean we won’t go through hard things, but sometimes those hard things are necessary.
In Genesis 16, Hagar—the servant of Abraham and Sara who was forced to bear a child for Abraham when Sara did not conceive—fled to the wilderness. But there she encountered an angel of the Lord, who spoke to her and told her she was not only pregnant but that she should name the child Ishmael, “For the Lord has heard of your misery” (Genesis 16:11). Hagar then referred to God as “El Roi,” which in Hebrew means “the God who sees me”(v. 13).
Today, I too know that God is El Roi, the God who sees me.
3) Third, we don’t need to know God’s plan to follow God’s plan.
In my case, it ultimately doesn’t matter a single bit what happens to my car or if I get a new refrigerator or how tight my budget is. Yes, it’s hard, but for some reason, this is my situation right now—and that’s OK. There are still moments of simple beauty even on the most challenging of days. Taking a moment to be grateful for what I do have can spark joy.
In 1 John 5:2-4, the apostle writes, “This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.”
If any of you reading this are going through something hard right now, remember that you are not forgotten. You are seen and you are loved. We all go through hard times. As the saying goes, life doesn’t become perfect for us just because we are Christian.
In John 16:33, Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Hardship is a part of life. Together, let’s keep our eyes on God.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”—John 14:27 NIV
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