New Wine, New Wineskins: Why I’m Not Mourning Midlife

By Jessica Brodie

My social media feed is blowing up lately with reels lamenting all the changes that happen to women in midlife—mostly hormonal. The way our bodies suddenly start to let us down through tiredness and overheating. The way we seem to stop having a natural filter for all the truthful thoughts and feelings we have about, well, everything.

Obviously, I don’t love all the changes that come with getting older. But instead of lamenting, I’m actually in a rather appreciative place about all this. There are some really wonderful things that come with getting older, and I actually don’t think I’d trade youth for any of them. I’m blessed to be healthy, so I know my perspective is a bit skewed, but today I want to counter the negatives of aging with some positives. For I’ve come to see that Jesus’s words in Matthew 9 about requiring new wineskins for new wine remind me that all the wisdom, grace, and gifts I possess today would have made my old wineskin burst.

Jesus’s words, spoken to the disciples when they asked why the Pharisees fast but they do not, point to the completely new spiritual reality of grace that he brings. It’s a grace that cannot be forced into old, legalistic religious routines—it requires a new way of thinking, a baptism with the Spirit, a born-again state of being.

As Jesus said to them, “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast. No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved” (Matthew 9:15-17 NIV).

The grace and salvation Jesus offers involves a thorough change from the old. It requires a new self—a new wineskin.

And it strikes me that the new me I’ve become, the “new Jessica,” Jessica 2.0, is in many ways a far different creature from the youthful version of myself. I’m the same person, yes, but I’ve evolved spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

For example, here are some of the positives I’m embracing:

1. I don’t care about people-pleasing the way I used to. I don’t feel like I need others’ acceptance or approval because I’ve obtained a sort of peace with who I am, and I like myself now. That’s not something I could say in the past. In fact, I’ve realized the only one I need to please is the Lord. There’s a liberation in this that’s indescribably good!

2. I’m totally fine being alone when running errands or going places. I don’t feel like I need to have a crowd of people around me to feel good or popular or even safe. I can be alone and not be lonely. That’s a really nice thing. Being comfortable in my own skin is a gift and a joy.

3. I have developed a peace about my upbringing and a lot of grace and mercy for the imperfect person I was and the imperfect people around me who shaped me. Forgiveness of self and others brings genuine hope and freedom.

4. I’ve learned to prioritize what’s really important—the Lord, and loving others out of my love for him. I’ve come to understand that all I really have to do is try my best to follow him, and everything else falls into place. If I do wrong, or inadvertently wander off-path, I can just start over.

5. I’ve found that nurturing relationships and making loving and encouraging connections with others (even strangers!) are ways I can love God and shine his light in the world.

6. I now see change is good! Change points to God, for it reminds me that the world spins constantly, but God is the shelter in the storm, the true and unchanging, ever-constant, eternal Everything.

7. I have come to understand certain things keep me grounded and aligned with God and are daily essentials in my spiritual journey: prayer, time in nature, daily Scripture reading, worship. These I need more than coffee or “mental health days.”

All of these things, this wisdom, I didn’t have when I was younger, possibly because I was so focused on myself and who I was becoming. I simply wasn’t spiritually mature enough.

This is the new wine I’m enjoying, the wine of Jesus. That new wine didn’t fit in my younger skin and bones, the still-developing version of me. It belongs in this new, present, evolved me.

And there’s an even better wine that’s coming. I don’t have the wineskin for that wine yet, but I will. And I look forward to that.

So instead of lamenting the way that hormones or my body is changing, I celebrate it. I celebrate the new wineskin that embraces the new wine of Jesus poured into me.

For all is well with my soul.

What are some positives you are noticing about getting older? What did I miss on my list? Let me know in the comments below!

A prayer: God, thank you for every day you’ve given me so far. Not every day or season has been happy or easy, but I know you have worked it all out to your glory. Thank you for my body, my mind, the gift of the Holy Spirit within me, and the perspective to embrace and celebrate the breath in my lungs and the sunlight on my skin. I love you, Lord. Thank you for salvation and the true joy I can have in you. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

If you know someone who would benefit from reading this blog, please share this with them: