By Jessica Brodie

Have you ever experienced the gut-wrenching pain of absolute and utter betrayal? The kind of betrayal that kicks you in the back of your knees and sends you straight to the floor?

I’ve been there. A lot of us have. We’ve been hurt by friends, we’ve been hurt romantically, and we’ve been hurt in the workplace and other areas of our life.

Sometimes when it hits out of nowhere, betrayal causes us to question the very makeup of our lives, our identity, our purpose, our motivation. It causes us to ask important, life-altering questions and even succumb to self-doubt.

It might sound silly, but I remember years ago having my car stolen right outside of my apartment building. I borrowed someone’s car to get to work, and the very next day they stole that car, too. I broke my lease and moved out shortly after that. It felt like such a personal violation to have my car stolen. All of my music and personal items were in my car, and somehow it felt like the car thieves knew me and targeted me, personally. In reality, I know that wasn’t the case. Logically, I know they just wanted my car. But the experience caused me to doubt the safety of my surroundings, as well as to doubt my basic ability to do things—like have reliable transportation to get to work on time. A personal betrayal is nowhere near the same thing as a car theft, but I can attest they have similar effects on the psyche.

The question becomes not how do we react at the time, but how do we move on after betrayal or a violation? Do we allow it to keep us down, or do we rise again? Do we go back to the same patterns and level of trust with others, or do we allow it to tarnish new relationships and experiences? Do we allow our heart to open again, or are we forever scarred?

Those are some of the issues I address in my novel Hidden Seeds, which comes out May 5 as a paperback, Kindle ebook, and audiobook. Hidden Seeds is about a woman, Natalie, who lost her fiancé and her best friend in a drunk-driving accident, only to find out the two were secretly having an affair. The blow sent her reeling, heading back to her childhood hometown to start over. Natalie ends up deciding to do something entirely different with her life. Instead of finding a new marketing job and continuing the trajectory she’d been following, she ends up opening the art shop she’s always dreamed about. She takes other emotional risks, too, and between that and her faith growth, she begins to heal.

Obviously, fiction is not real life. But for those of you who have experienced betrayal, haven’t you been there? At that same crossroads? After the dust settles and you’re trying to figure out what’s next, you have a decision to make: Do I let this scar me? Do I let this impact future relationships?

God talks about this in the Bible quite a bit. It’s apparently a very human thing to experience betrayal and healing, and often that healing comes through forgiveness. Consider Joseph, the favored son of his father, sold into slavery in Egypt by his bitter and jealous brothers (Genesis 37:18-36). Joseph suffered! He was betrayed! But ultimately, he made a new and good life out of his rotten situation, and he ended up saving the lives of not only his father but also the very same brothers who’d betrayed him (Genesis 45, 50). His healing and forgiveness, his courageous heart, enabled the Israelites to experience a new and prosperous life in Egypt for many years, until God called them out of that place and into their Promised Land.

Like us, and like Natalie in Hidden Seeds, Joseph had a choice to make after betrayal—stay bitter, or open his heart. By choosing to forgive and to open his heart, he experienced the joy of reuniting with his beloved father and the satisfaction of knowing his family’s lives would continue.

Forgiveness and healing are hard for many of us. Sometimes it’s so tempting to hold onto the pain and the anger. But forgiveness is a blessing that enables us great freedom.

Today, consider: Are you holding onto old pain? Old betrayals? Old wounds? Is it time for you to pray about how you can turn that over to God and take a chance on a new way of living?

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. In the case of an abusive or toxic relationship, it doesn’t mean reconciling. But it does mean you get to relinquish the baggage you might be dragging around, sometimes for many years.

Sometimes our deepest wounds are the very doorways to our greatest purpose. Don’t let bitterness seal that door shut. Your Promised Land may be closer than you think.

If you know someone who would benefit from reading this blog, please share this with them: