Surviving Suicide through God’s Grace
Today, I’m honored to feature Lanny Turner, M.D., a long-time emergency medicine physician who has authored one of the most inspiring and hopeful stories I have read. Titled Surviving Suicide: A Father’s Memoir of Grief and Grace, Lanny talks about the shift he and his wife made from darkest tragedy to comforting grace. While believers, their agonizing experience unexpectedly led them to an even deeper relationship with the Lord as they learned to trust God anew and follow him consistently through the shadows, as God moved them slowly into the light again. I hope Lanny’s blog for today touches your heart as much as it did mine. If you’re interested in his book, you can find it on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Suicide-Fathers-Memoir-Grief/dp/B0BS93YFB4 —Jessica
By Lanny Turner, guest blogger
I’m a father who lost his son to suicide. It’s painful to share these words, but God calls me to do so.
In May 2020, we received the call that no parent ever wants to receive; that our son had taken his own life after a seemingly very positive period in his life, although he had periodically struggled mightily with depression. Despite his own best efforts, and those of his loving wife and family, he made a decision that that was both tragic and final.
These almost three years have been largely painful and often even agonizing. His name was Travis Turner, and he was in his mid-thirties, dearly loved and respected by everybody who knew him. He had been academically very successful and ultimately became a highly successful attorney and served many through his kind and caring efforts.
Today, the day this blog publishes, would have been Travis’s fortieth birthday, and my mind and heart go back to so many seasons we enjoyed together. In fact, I am convinced that he enjoyed far more good times than bad or dark times. The most tragic part of losing a son is the finality of it, knowing that such opportunities will never be possible to share with him again.
However, we are greatly blessed and assured when we recall the day, many years earlier, when he came home from the church and announced to us that he had “invited Jesus Christ into his heart.” This has made all the difference for us, because although we will never fully understand what happened within him on the day of his death, we are certain he is now with his heavenly Father and is hurting no more. He is now in heaven where every tear has been wiped away (Revelation 21:4).
My wife and I have observed far too many marriages and families that have disintegrated in the face of suicide within the family. But our marriage and emotional intimacy have remained very much intact. We attribute this to the decision we made individually and together immediately after his death—that our love of God and faith in Him would forever remain intact, and it has.
With this commitment to continue walking with God, and retain our faith that he is a loving God, have come several very powerful blessings and rewards.
First, he has given us his promised “peace that surpasses all (human) understanding” (Philippians 4:6). And this has made all the difference, as he regularly reminds us that all things work together for good.
Second, even though it’s been a turbulent and very sad few years, I can honestly say that my wife and I have felt that God has been closer to us than ever before in our entire lives. Sometimes we ask ourselves: How can we be surviving as well as we are? The obvious answer is that it’s been by the grace of God, who seemingly binds up our hurts and wounds on a daily basis so we can continue looking forward and upward.
Our loving God has enabled us to cling to fond and wonderful memories of a son with whom we shall be united again on that wonderful day of glory. He is sovereign, but we are not. He is also loving, and we have been shown that this is true repeatedly in these past few years.
Travis’s birthday is a special time, and it can be a painful time. However, the fact remains that God experienced the death of his own Son, too.
Because of that sacrifice, because Jesus died in our place and rose again, forever defeating death, we all have eternal life.
In this we have been greatly encouraged, and we desire to support others who may have been touched by the loss of a son or daughter as we have.
God’s blessings to all you who are hurting!
About Lanny Turner
Lanny M. Turner, M.D., attended Harvard University, where he earned his B.A. in English, which proved helpful in writing this memoir. He spent the majority of his professional career as a practicing physician in emergency medicine, with the last few years being focused on occupational medicine. He has been married to his wife Jody for forty-four years, and she and his two boys have been the central focus of his joy and passion for life. His first son, Travis, took his own life at thirty-seven years of age in May 2020 due to depression with which he had struggled much of his life. Lanny has one other son, Todd, and the two boys have each blessed his life with two beautiful granddaughters who he has absolutely enjoyed. He spends the remainder of his time growing a technology business that he and his brother started several years ago, XpressRules. Finally, in the subsequent years since the loss of his oldest son, he has dedicated much of his time to writing this memoir about the experience of surviving a child’s suicide by calling on God’s abundant grace as opposed to being overwhelmed with only the darkness of grief that is inevitable.
WANT TO HELP SPONSOR JESSICA BRODIE’S WRITING MINISTRY BY BECOMING A PATRON? CLICK HERE.
THANKS TO MY SPONSORS: MATT BRODIE, KATHLEEN PATELLA, BILLY ROBINSON, AND LANNY TURNER.
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