Weathering the Storm: 10 Tips to Help if Your Child Battles Mental Illness

By Jessica Brodie

To look at her, you would never know what a horrible mental and emotional health battle my beautiful daughter endured not too long ago.

Today, she is a thriving, college-bound young woman with deep faith, excellent grades, and a passion for her future in elementary education. But about five years ago, her life—and mine as a mother—was far different.

My daughter struggles with anxiety and depression, among other things. When she was eight, she began having panic attacks at school. She constantly complained about stomachaches, headaches, and intense dizziness, and we sought specialist after specialist. Finally, an insightful counselor suggested she had anxiety. We went through a battery of testing, and voila—that was it.

We learned how to manage her anxiety, and all was well for a few years. Then puberty hit, and shortly after, so did COVID-19. Lockdown teamed with too much social media and hormonal mood swings sent my daughter over the edge.

Since then, she’s received extensive mental and emotional healthcare, including behavioral health care, psychiatrist visits, weekly counseling sessions, family counseling—you name it, we’ve tried it. In tandem with each was a deep element of faith.

Five years later, things are much better. But it’s not that way for everybody who’s battled mental illness, and I know we’re blessed. She’s had to work very hard to get to where she is today, and we as a family have had to work extremely hard, too.

If you parent a child with mental illness, don’t despair. It takes a lot of hard work and growth, but there is light ahead. God can and does create beauty from the ashes.

Here are ten things we’ve learned along the way:

1. Don’t diminish it. If you notice warning signs, pay attention and seek help immediately. Emotional mood swings can catapult from a little to a big problem overnight, sometimes with deadly consequences.

2. Seek a diagnosis. There’s no sense taking the wrong medication for the wrong issue. Pursue a diagnosis through a comprehensive psychological evaluation. This can be expensive, but it’s important to know what you’re dealing with.

3. Counseling is critical. There are some excellent Christian counselors. Other counselors are not labeled “Christian” counselors, but they are Christians, and if you request it, they can counsel entirely from a Christian perspective. Sometimes this makes a difference in terms of insurance coverage. Not every counselor will be a good match; if your child doesn’t like the counselor, find someone else.

4. Don’t be afraid of medication. Remember that mental illness is every bit as serious (and potentially deadly) as physical illness. Just because it is a brain or a chemical imbalance doesn’t mean you can pray it away. While God still works miracles, consider that if you had cancer or diabetes, you likely wouldn’t avoid medication. You would probably see the medication as a blessing God provided. It’s the same thing with mental illness medication.

5. Talk honestly about what’s happening. We’ve always been open about mental health, and because of that, my daughter feels comfortable talking about what she goes through. The more we talk about mental illness, the less stigma remains.

6. Get some help for you, too. When your child has mental illness, you’re going through a traumatic time yourself. Don’t ignore that. Talking to a trained professional can keep you strong so you can be strong for your child. It’s like the airplane oxygen mask—put yours on so you have enough breath to help others.

7. Keep your marriage strong. Mental illness can be tough on a relationship. You might feel like your child is pulling you one way and your spouse another, not to mention any other kids in the household. Just like sailors batten down the hatches to prepare for a storm, equip yourselves so you can weather the hurricane your house might become.

8. Talk to your child. Be their ally. They could be talking to their friends about this and not you. Keep communication open and supportive.

9. Consider a social media hiatus. Society convinces us it’s normal for young kids to connect online, but in our home, we’ve learned it exacerbates comparisons and feelings of low worth. The break has done wonders.

10. Know you’re not alone. The Bible is filled with people who experienced mental illness, from the prophet Elijah to King David to the apostle Paul. God walked alongside them, meeting them in their valley and leading them to hope and new life. This is available to all of us today, too.

Recently, my daughter remarked that while she never wants to go back to her dark days, she’s grateful she endured them, for now she’ll be able to help others from a deeper place of empathy and wisdom.

There is hope ahead. My prayers are with you, and know you never walk alone.

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